Your self-esteem is probably the most important part of your personality. “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope or confidence” ~ Helen Keller. It is the energy source or the reactor core of your personality, and how much self-esteem you have determines your levels of vitality, enthusiasm and personal magnetism. I have noticed that people with a high self-esteem are more positive, more likable and more effective in every part of their lives.
Everything that you do or say or think affects your self-esteem. It is important therefore, that you guard your self esteem jealously by having the right frame of mind on a continuous basis. Probably the best definition of self-esteem is “the level to which you respect and value yourself as an important, worthwhile person”. How much value to do you put on yourself? The value will usually be determined by the kind of life you lead. It is your level of mental fitness.
To be at your best and feel terrific about yourself, you should be in a perpetual state of self-esteem building and maintenance. Just as you take responsibility for your level of physical fitness, you need to take complete responsibility for the content and quality of your mind.
I have developed a simple formula that contains all the critical elements of self-esteem building, and you can use it on a regular basis to ensure maximum performance. This formula is comprised of six basic elements. They are: goals, principles, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards.
“Goals allow you to control the direction of change in your favor”. How much you like and respect yourself is directly affected by your goals. The very act of setting big, challenging goals for yourself and making written plans of action to achieve them actually raises your self-esteem, which causes you to feel much better about yourself. It is important to set goals for your life. Imagine how nice it would be like to play a video of your life and you being the main character achieving your goals one at a time.
Self-esteem is a condition you experience when you are moving step-by-step toward the accomplishment of something that is important to you. For that reason, it’s really important to have clear goals for each part of your life and to continually work toward achieving those goals. Each progressive step causes your self-esteem to go up and makes you feel even more positive and effective in everything else you do.
The second element in self-esteem building is having clear principle and values to which you are committed. I think that we all or rather a normal thinking person has their own set principles. These I believe are the driving force of each and every one of us. The difference is the level of commitment. Men and women with high self-esteem are very clear about what they believe in. The higher your values and ideals are, and the more committed you are to living your life consistent with those values and ideals, the more you will like and respect yourself, and the higher your self-esteem will be.
Lasting self-esteem comes only when your goals and your values are congruent-that is, when they fit into each other like a hand into a glove. Much of the stress that people experience comes from believing one thing and trying to do another. But when your goals and values are in harmony with each other, you feel a wonderful surge of energy and well-being, and that’s when you start to make real progress.
“My definition of success is to live your life in a way that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain – and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel a lot more pleasure than they do pain” ~ Tony Robins. The third element in self-esteem improvement involves having success experiences. Once you have set your goals and principles, it is important that you make them measurable so that you can keep score of your small and large successes along the way. The very act of setting up a goal, breaking it down into smaller parts, and then completing those parts makes you feel like a winner and causes your self-esteem to go up. But remember that you can’t hit a target you can’t see. You can’t feel like a winner unless you clearly lay out the standards by which you are going to measure your success and then achieve those standards.
Let’s say that you set a goal to sell a certain amount or earn a certain amount of income in a given year. If you break that down into monthly and weekly goals, and then you achieve the first of those goals, you will feel great about yourself. Each time you reach another milestone, your self-esteem and ability to perform will increase, and you will feel encouraged and enthusiastic about the next challenge. The key is to keep encouraging yourself with tangible results. The more tangible results you can see the more self esteem you buildup.
This is a two part article and I thought to end here. In the final article am talking about the remaining elements that is comparison with others; recognition and rewards. There is more you could do to improve your self esteem. Having a high self esteem is the gateway to a better life and living. It does not matter what you are or what you have when you put on a high self esteem you can move mountains. Until next time “standout tall and be counted”.