Categories
Relationships

Building Strong Relationships and the Importance of Reciprocity

Motivational Quotes

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France.

 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Serenity Prayer

 

Cease to ask what the morrow will bring forth, and set down as gain each day that Fortune grants.” – Horace.

 

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called present.” – Unkonwn

 

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain.

 

“Failure is blindness to the strategic element in events; success is readiness for instant action when the opportune moment arrives.”  – Newell D. Hillis.

Reciprocity is the relation of mutual dependence or action or influence. Humans are well known for being social. Being in a relationship, be it intimate, social or business, requires the reciprocity of the people involved. All human beings excel in relationships where both parties have a balanced, give and take situation.

Relationships where reciprocity is not practiced are usually strained. They are one sided and are problematic. When there is no reciprocity the relationship is on the rocks.

To create reciprocity in a relationship, both parties need to take responsibility for that creation.

Good healthy relationships are those that people have mutual respect for one another and every member, does not feel that they are putting in much more than the other. If you want to live a happy life, it is important to be in a health relationship where reciprocity is practiced.

Some relationships are not beneficial for your personal development. If you are in a relationship that makes you uncomfortable, leave. Make the decision and set yourself free. You must weigh what benefits you are getting from being in certain relationships.

If you have to break them please go ahead. This year I have resolved to evaluate most of my relationships. I have also resolved to work on improving those that I feel need to be improved. Over the years I have slowly broken out of some unhealthy relationships.

I have managed to stay away from them, especially those that were not adding any value to my personal improvement. I liken relationships to the game of chess. If you play chess with players who are less skilled than you are, you do not improve. You are merely improving them whilst you remain stagnated.

Building and Understanding Reciprocity

The principle of reciprocity is also key and crucial to success in all business relationships. The strongest and longest lasting interpersonal relationships are based on the principle of reciprocity, and this extends far into the best relationships between buyers and sellers.

Therefore, it is important that we take time to build and understand this principle. You will agree with me that good solid relationships take time to build. When building them we must understand that every relationship is unique.

A good example of how to build the reciprocity in a relationship is to apply the principle of “do unto others what you would want them do unto you.” Believe me it is the best bet. If you expect people to treat you with respect you must be the first to respect them.

The flip side though is to do good and not expect anything in return. When you are expectant most of the times you will be disappointed because you are not in control of other peoples actions. You can only control your actions.

Here are a few ways that can help you build long lasting relationships:-

  • Be the First to Give Something – Try and be the first to give something. The bible says “it is more blessed to give than to receive.” When you give don’t expect anything in return. Regard it as a good gesture. If you are in business offer an incentive when the sale is complete. Send gifts to your clients as a way of thanking them for supporting your business.
  • Keep the Relationship Going – Good relationships are not easy to come by. We all want to have them, so keep the relationship going. Find ways that will help you grow it. I have noticed that some of the best relationships I have were built from my high school and college days. Yes, along the way I have built new ones but am more comfortable with my old buddies.
  • Offer to Support – Support is a form of giving. People always appreciate being supported. Do we all? I believe in a saying that “you never know who is going to keep you tomorrow.” Giving support is also a sign of generosity. Be generous.

You Need to Give and Take

In every relationship that you build you need to have a give and take attitude. You lose some and you win some. Relationships must be based on respect and mutual understandings. Good solid relationships are built on trust.

Remember that trust is earned. Once breached it takes time to repair. When you are trusted with a responsibility at work for example, ensure you deliver. If you cannot deliver ensure that you communicate. It is better to be honest, that way you earn trust.

Conclusion

To succeed we must build strong healthy and trust worthy, relationships with the people we come into contact with. “Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship” –
Buddha.

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Categories
Relationships Religion/Christianity

How to Keep Peace With Your Adversaries

Motivational Quotes

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France.

 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Serenity Prayer

 

Cease to ask what the morrow will bring forth, and set down as gain each day that Fortune grants.” – Horace.

 

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called present.” – Unkonwn

 

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain.

 

“Failure is blindness to the strategic element in events; success is readiness for instant action when the opportune moment arrives.”  – Newell D. Hillis.

To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him “ – Buddha. We all have adversaries in life. Countries are at war because of perceived enemies; people are fighting and killing each other because of perceived differences and creating adversaries. Peace seems to be in short supply across the world. Even in our own homes husbands and wives cannot stay together peacefully. Especially during the current imposed lock down due to the COVID – 19 pandemic.

The world we know to day is not as it was a few years ago. There seems to be a break down of peace in the world today. It seems to me that when you belong to a different grouping or race you are enemies. And for some of us who live in countries that have enjoyed relative peace for a very long time we seem to be taking it for granted. We seem to have forgotten that the peace we enjoy today was fought for by our fore fathers. I have been doing some reading and researching on how we can learn to maintain peace with our perceived enemies. Key word perceived.

I came to a conclusion that most of the reasons for the enmity around us is purely greediness, ignorance and fear of the unknown. Most of us are scared of what we don’t know or understand. You see fear exposes our weaknesses and we counter it by being angry and hateful. It makes us want to eliminate that which makes us angry and in the process we lose our peace.

I came across a very interesting story by Daryl Davis. He is one of the very few black men who used to attend rallies of the Ku Klux Klan popularly known as the KKK. Daryl had become friends with the Grand Dragon of the Klan and over time he would be invited to attend their rallies. At the rallies he was even allowed to take pictures. Now if you know what the KKK stood for, you will agree with me that this was an extraordinary friendship. Even though the leader of the Klan insisted that he was superior to Daryl justified by the differences in their skin colour.

In his story Daryl stresses that ignorance breeds fear. For sure we are as human beings are always fearful of the things we do not understand. I have experienced fear without actually knowing what the fear is all about. I believe this is just a defense mechanism we have developed overtime. If only we could take more time to understand our adversaries. We would be making the right decisions and learn to live in peace. It is amazing how we hate people we do not even know based on the colour of their skin or tribe or political grouping. Yet most of us profess to be Christians. The bible I read tells me that “Do onto others what you would want them do onto you” it also tells me that “we are all equal before the eyes of God”. Find here below Daryl Davis telling his story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORp3q1Oaezw
Daryl Davis speaking about his experience with the Ku Klux Klan

Conclusion

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other” – Mother Teresa. Perhaps we need to be reminded that we are all interconnected and belong to each other. If we can spend time to respect and accept each others uniqueness the world would be a better and peaceful place for all. After all God instructs us to love our enemies as we love ourselves. Remember to standout tall and be counted and keep the conversation going with your adversaries.

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Categories
Happiness Relationships

Relationships are a source of personal stability

Motivational Quotes

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France.

 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Serenity Prayer

 

Cease to ask what the morrow will bring forth, and set down as gain each day that Fortune grants.” – Horace.

 

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called present.” – Unkonwn

 

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain.

 

“Failure is blindness to the strategic element in events; success is readiness for instant action when the opportune moment arrives.”  – Newell D. Hillis.

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you” ~ Brian Tracy. Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and personal stability; and can also be long lasting despite many trials. There are very few people if any that can claim not to have been or be in a relationship of some sort.

Being in a healthy relationship can be a great source personal stability and can provide security. We derive comfort and security in relationships. Human nature demands that we create relationships. No man is an island. We succeed based mainly on how successful or rather how healthy our relationships are, be it in a business or intimate relationship. I have come to understand that being in an unhealthy relationship has a very negative effect on your personal development journey.

Creating effective and efficient relationships
We all strive for security and personal stability therefore; building an effective and lasting relationship is a necessity. As human beings we feel more comfortable and secure if we know that we come from a loving and caring environment. It gives you a peace of mind when you know that you come from a caring and loving home. It is therefore very important in life that we cultivate and nurture our current relationships. For me the number one killer of relationships; be it personal or business, is luck of satisfactory communication channels. If you are in an intimate relationship make communication number one on the agenda of your to do list.

And effective relationship will have such attributes as; Respect and trust; understanding; taking responsibility for our actions; effective communication and confidence; in intimate relationships patience is also important. When these attributes are correctly applied you are guaranteed of having an effective and efficient relationship. It takes all parties involved in the relationship to make it work.

Even in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works. The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management. Sometimes there is a tendency by management not to listen to complaints and suggestions from the junior members, forgetting that without the junior members there would be no organisation to run. People seek employment that offers personal stability and security.

An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating. An ineffective group or organization can also ask so much on their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group, with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.

Relationships and society
Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. In simple terms society is made up of you and me. I would like to emphasise that at the very core of society is the family. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. We all look forward to a society that offers security and personal stability for all. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships. We are part of one big family. Each and every one of us was created to contribute positively to the growth of every society.

Understanding the other parties’ feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them. This is one way of showing respect and exercising your communication skills.

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent on the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and give us when we need it without asking for it is not a good practice. This often creates a breakdown in communication. It is not wise to assume or rather think on behalf of someone. Relationships play a very important part in molding society.

Respect and trust in relationships
Perhaps one of the key factors in determining the healthiness of a relationship is respect and trust. A relationship without both will definitely fail. I have not come across a successful business partnership without respect and trust among the members. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect. Respect and trust also applies very much in intimate relationships. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.
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You see in any relationship it takes both parties’ efforts to make a healthy relationship, this is one way you can achieve personal stability. If you are in an intimate relationship it is very important that you respect and trust your partner. The bible says “do onto others what you would want them do unto you”. We definitely do not take pleasure in being hurt unless you are not normal. You see it takes a long time to build trust yet it is very easy to break it. Most of the broken relationships I have come across are as a result of mistrust and luck of respect.

Your character is a reflection of what you think. Feed your mind with the right stuff and you will think and act rightly. There is no way you will respect others if you do not learn to respect and trust yourself. Change begins with you. You cannot go into a relationship expecting to receive what you cannot give. One must learn to please the other before they can receive. Service is very cardinal in any relationship. You must be the first one to be of service and remember you are doing it without expecting any reward.

Conclusion
Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say ‘No man is an Island’. Being in a healthy relationship can be a source of personal stability and security as it releases your mind to focus on achieving your life’s intended purpose. “standout tall and be counted”.

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