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Motivation Motivational Personal Development

Addressing the 3 main motivation killers

Even though motivation is a key factor when it comes to issues of personal development and self-growth it is not always easy to stay motivated. Most successful people, be it sports men/women, movie actors, politicians, businessmen etc. will tell you that without being motivated by something, they would not have attained greatness. “To succeed you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you” ~ Tony Dosset. There has to be a motivating factor for you to continuously pursue your life’s purpose. Motivation is one of the single most factors that distinguish success from failure. But we all at some point in our life’s journey get demotivated for various reasons. There is nothing wrong with it, we are human and it’s in our nature. The difference is how we handle life’s challenges. How we rise up and get over it.

I have analysed the main reasons for being demotivated, let’s first outline the 3 motivation killers and proceed to addressing them.

Lack of self confidence
The first one is a lack of self-confidence all together. Why would you continue to do something if you don’t believe that you can do it? If you are a cyclist and have entered into a competition would you go ahead to participate in it if you think you cannot win it? For all I know those who are successful participate in competitions with the aim to win and not to lose. Let’s take two soccer teams for example competing in the world cup final. I would like to believe that the team that carries the day is the one with the right confidence and show that they really want it.

When you lack self-confidence it is almost impossible to succeed. Confidence enhances our motivation. It is true that when you have high levels of confidence so is your motivational levels and the opposite is equally true. A low or no self-confidence generates low or no motivational. The greatest enemy to developing a positive high confidence is fear; it can also generate low self-confidence. It is therefore very important that you try as much as possible to avoid lacking self confidence.

“Have your heart in your life’s work, and be stout-hearted. Do something, act always, and do it now. Don’t be afraid. Many a man has been defeated by his doubts—lack of confidence. Take your risks —you cannot eliminate them, you cannot escape them. You can diminish them by dominating them” ~ Batten’s Wedge.

Lack of focus
“Most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can immediately command when we focus all of our resources on mastering a single area of our lives” ~ Tony Robbins. Do you know what it is that you want to achieve, if not, why should you take action; why should you be motivated? You cannot start a journey without a final destination in mind unless you are tourist. You cannot start something without knowing exactly what you want to achieve. Otherwise you will find yourself with a lot of goals that are difficult to achieve. You need to concentrate on a narrow path that is manageable to achieve. You need to focus on what you want to achieve in with your life. Having a clearly written down life’s purpose is the beginning point for focusing.

When I started my path on self-development I listed down quite a number of goals and began to narrow them down as time passed by. You will notice that at the very beginning when we set out, we have a number of goals to be achieved but, as time goes by and as the picture becomes clearer you will be forced to adjust your goals. The important thing however, is to get started with at least a good understanding of what you what to achieve. It will definitely be very blurred and unclear. The time and thoughts wasted in aimless effort would accomplish wonders if properly directed with some special object in view.

Lack of a sense of direction
Insight enables us to plan to advantage and turn our thought and attention in the right

direction, instead of into channels which can yield no possible return. You cannot have a sense of direction without understanding what you want to achieve. However, if you know what you want and believe that you can achieve it but have no clue how to get started, you can be very demotivated. Have you ever felt that whatever you are doing has no sense of direction and what was your reaction to it? Exactly you quit and refocused.

Though when starting out, sometimes you may find yourself in the situation were you feel you have no direction, being in there may help you create direction. Whatever you do in life you must always make sure that you have a sense of direction. It may not be clear to people around you but for as long as you feel it is for you, continue in the same path. We have outlined the 3 main motivation killers above. It is now time that we move on and focus our attention on how to address them. We will now proceed in the same manner as before until we reach the conclusion.

Addressing a lack of self confidence
“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope or confidence” ~ Helen Keller. Thoughts of courage, power, confidence and hope all produce a

corresponding state, but the one enemy which must be absolutely destroyed before there is any possibility of letting any light shine is fear. Fear is an enemy of success. Remember that fear is a very strong emotion and has the ability to derail anyone who harbours it. Here are some suggestions that can help address a lack of self-confidence;-

  • Focusing on what you already have achieved than what you do not have. Appreciate what you have. After all they say “a bird in hand is better than one in the bush”.
  • Create your own positive mantra that will assist you to boost yourself up.
  • Speak positive things to yourself every day. If no one compliments you on your work why not do it yourself. Tell yourself how well you have done. Find ways of rewarding yourself for your work.
  • Learn also to accept compliments when they come along and enjoy the feedback. Compliments are good but they should not get to your head. Sometimes we have a tendency of over reacting to compliments from other people.
  • Keep reminding yourself of the good things that you have achieved and have gained. We all have done good, at some point. This will surely lift your spirits. I believe that even the worst condemned person on earth has some goodness in them. Remember we are all created in God’s image and God is love.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt. Personal development demands that you have confidence in whatever, you are doing for your own success.

Addressing a lack of focus
Brian Tracy Personal DevelopmentOne of the best ways to defeat a lack of focus is to set goals for yourself that are reasonable and achievable. The very act of goal setting puts a structure around your random thoughts and keeps you focused on them, that’s why, it is important to have your goals written down. Read them on a daily basis and make sure you can recite them. Goal setting is one of the key areas of personal
development and self-growth. Instead of worrying about the future and what it will bring set down and gain what fortune grants. Focus on how you can help change the situation.

I recently listened to Brian Tracy’s DVD entitled “the miracle of self-discipline” Where he teaches about daily goal setting. This DVD is life changing. You can get some of his great works by clicking here. Remember that the consciousness that focuses in your brain cells is the same consciousness which focuses in the brain cells of every other individual. You need to develop sense of focus and fine tune it. It may not be easy for some to develop it at the beginning but with practice you will improve it.

“One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular” ~ Tony Robbins.

Address a lack of sense of direction
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined” ~ Henry David Thoreau. Addressing this one is tricky especially if you are just starting on your road to success. As the Chinese say “a journey of 3000 miles begins with one step”. It does not say whether it’s a step in the right or wrong direction the most important thing is to take the first step. Daunting as it may seem the direction will become clearer as you break down your goals into smaller manageable ones. Remember you cannot skip from 1 to 3000 miles. You need to plan on how to reach the next mile and make adjustments as you get to know the terrain better. This way you will have a sense of direction and appreciate your journey.

As they say Rome was not built in one day. When you have built the right sense of direction you tend to be motivated and feel comfortable with what you are trying to achieve. One of the best ways to creating a good sense of direction is writing down what you want to achieve and breaking it down into small achievable goals. You may also consider goal setting Technics, click here to learn more on this topic.

Conclusion
Motivation plays a key role in personal development and success. We must try by all means to overcome the 3 motivational killers mentioned in this article as they can derail our progress. Remember you can do all things possible in Christ Jesus who strengthens you. Bye for now and stay motivated and always “standout tall and be counted”.

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Categories
Personal Development Success

Your confidence is key to success

“It’s not the mountain we conquer but our selves”~ Edmund Hillary. “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without confidence” ~ Hellen Keller. Success cannot be achieved without confidence. I have learned that most successful people are the ones with confidence. You cannot set out to do something and succeed without the backing of confidence. If you luck confidence there is a very high likelihood that whatever, endeavour you have embarked on will not be a success this is surely a guarantee. In this article I will show you how to develop the confidence you need to succeed. Read 5 ways to improve your self-confidence.

It’s absolutely vital that you develop the confidence and self-belief that you will achieve your goals. Self-belief is very crucial to succeed. I am not talking about being arrogant and ignoring feedback from other people and thinking you are infallible or invisible. Am talking about having a balanced view of yourself that does not indulge in false modesty and self-pity, and an inner view that is not strong enough to be crushed and defeated when someone challenges you.

The thing is; to succeed you must develop the mind-set and confidence to achieve your goals. If you’re really are serious about succeeding you cannot afford to wallow in negative thoughts of “I am not good enough”. Here are a few tips to help you develop your confidence.

Self-talk
Self-talk is perhaps the most important step towards developing self-confidence. What to tell your self has more bearing than what other people tell you. Remember you are what you think. The bible says “as man thinketh so is he in his heart”.  Develop the attitude of talking positively to yourself. It helps to keep telling yourself that you can do it, you can do it. Usually when am working on a task I keep reminding myself of the benefits that accruals when a task is achieved.

I usually remind myself early in the morning that I can achieve all the tasks that I have laid down. Yes I will come across obstacles but my mind is prepared for the tasks ahead. You should try having a to do list every morning and see how that helps you towards achieving your intended goals. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” ~ the bible. This is my prayer every morning. Try personalising this saying and say how your confidence levels will be improved.

Your behaviour matters
What you think about and what you say to yourself has a profound bearing on your behaviour and on what happens to you. Your thoughts, attitudes and behaviours towards your ability to achieve your goals, have an impact on your expectation of the situation. In turn your expectation will impact on the way you behave in a given situation. People will just respond to your behaviours. “The most powerful forces of Nature are the invisible forces, so we find that the most powerful forces of man are his invisible forces, his spiritual force, and the only way in which the spiritual force can manifest is through the process of thinking” ~ the Master Key.

Am sure we’ve all known someone if not ourselves, who has been worrying about something they have to do and have constantly spoken how badly it’s going to go and when it does go badly they jump and exclaim “I knew” that would happen. You see all along they did not realise that they created their own self-fulfilling prophesy. There is power in thoughts and words. Always be mindful of what to say.

Focus on the things you do well
Take stock of your skills set and attributes that you already possess. In other words know your weaknesses and strengths and focus on improving your strengths. The idea is when you set out to do a task and accomplish it very well there is a sense of wellbeing and satisfaction. This is not to say that you should neglect to improve on your weakness. But focusing on doing the things you do better can highly improve your motivation and confidence levels.

I have listed down the some personal questions to help you identify your skill set and attributes if you are not sure of them. Write down the answers and keep on reviewing them. Make sure you answer the questions honestly.

  • What am I good at?
  • What have I received compliments and positive feedback for in the past?
  • What do people value me for? (Compare this with what you value yourself for).
  • What challenges have I overcome in the past?
  • What skills helped me to overcome the challenges?
  • What have I achieved in the past that I perhaps thought I couldn’t?

“We see things not as they are but as we are” ~ H. M. Tomlinson. As human beings I have noticed that we judge other people by our own standards. Believe me if you have set yourself a high standard that is what you expect to get from other people and nothing less.

Be inspired by other people
One of the things that has always inspired and given me confidence to succeed is by looking at and reading about other people who have made it. Find yourself some role models whom you admire and whose story of success inspires you. A role model does not necessarily have to be alive or known personally. It could be someone you have read about or someone who does not even know you. Most successful people have written books about their lives. Find some literature about them and read it.

A good role model will show you the following attributes

  • Their attitude and approach
  • Where and how they started
  • How they made the most of their abilities
  • How they handle their success
  • How they overcome challenges

Always remind yourself these too were or are human beings just like you and me. If they can make it why shouldn’t you make it?

Conclusion
I hope and trust that you have learned one or two things from this article. Let me end by emphasising that you cannot succeed without having self-belief and the confidence to carry you on. I have not come across a successful person without self-belief and no confidence. I challenge you set out intended purpose in life and start pursuing it with confidence and always remember to “standout tall and be counted”.

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Categories
Motivational Personal Development Self Growth

5 Ways to improve your confidence

This is one of my long articles. Feel free to bookmark it and come back later to finish reading it. Self-confidence is something that people find difficult to have. There are people who find low self-confidence influences the way they see themselves and their performance. Contrary to what most people think, self confidence is not something that only the gifted and blessed could have.  With the help of personal mastery, individuals could now start building on their self-confidence. “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face” Eleanor Roosevelt. Self confidence is a requisite to personal development. Having an improved self-confidence can really improve your general work out put.

Personal mastery is about self-development and self-improvement. It is about loving yourself and accepting yourself as you are. You need to acknowledge your weaknesses and at the same time strengthen them. To improve your self confidence it is important to know and accept your weaknesses. I believe that identifying your weaknesses is the first step to personal improvement. Many of the times we like to ignore our weaknesses and concentrate mainly on perfecting our strengths. I have written down my weaknesses and strengths and keep reviewing them from time and again. I have found this very helpful and would recommend it to anyone.

To attain personal mastery and confidence, it is important to believe in yourself. It is also important to be content with yourself. Self belief and contentment lead to building a solid self-confidence. It is very difficult to achieve personal development without being content with yourself. To develop self-confidence, self-acceptance should occur.  Self-acceptance is about accepting not only the good things in life, but also the failures in life. Failure is only failure if accepted. You must always treat failure as a learning curve. When you fail the first time re-organise yourself, analyse your failure and move on. Do not stop at failure.

And now the suggested five ways to help you improve your self-confidence

Understand your thoughts and emotions

Many of us find it very difficult to understand our thoughts and emotions, yet understanding these can unlock huge potentials for improving self confidence. Forgetting about a bad habit or behaviour would make us more aware about our thoughts and emotions. By becoming aware of our emotions and behaviour, then we will be able to overcome and correct our behaviour. Behavioural control and correction is one of the key important elements to improving self confidence. I have noticed that a lack of confidence is mainly our negative behaviour and most of the times we are very aware of it. It is very rare that if you put on your positive behaviour you will experience a low self confidence.

Understanding your emotions is very critical. Your emotions will usually dictate your mood. It is therefore important that we always try to replace our negative emotions with good ones. A few practical ways to know your emotions is to observe and write down the feelings and emotions you experience; observe and or write down the preceding events and duration of your emotions. I have noticed with time that my emotions are largely affected by my thoughts. Hence I always try to keep my thoughts positive.

By knowing the root cause for your emotions you can learn to take control of them. Flee from sorrowful emotions and make the decision to improve your mood. You deserve to be happy.

Self discipline

Self discipline is perhaps the number one factor for self growth. Without discipline very little can be achieved in life. I have not come across a successful who is indisciplined. When we set our goals on achieving our intended purposes in life, discipline and focus in what keeps us from swaying away from them. We graduate from school because we are disciplined to study hard.

Changing attitude and behaviour, or even perspective might take a while. Change does not happen overnight. You need to gather enough knowledge and start learning and practicing the skills that you would like to improve and develop. To do this you need to be disciplined. This is an essential ingredient that is found wanting in many of us. Discipline comes through self control. This means that one must control negative qualities.

Have a clear vision

To be able to move forward in your life, it is important to have clarity. Have a purpose written down. Seeing what you want to have in a clearer image would encourage you to work for it. That is why it is important that you write down your intended purpose in life and read it every day. I would encourage you read it every night. I read my every night before going to sleep.

Having a defined purpose in life, acts as a guide and motivation for living. I know that most of us live by the day. If you do not have a defined purpose and vision for yourself I would encourage you to think about formulating one. At first your vision might not be as clear as possible but just start working on it. You will begin to see a clearer picture of your destination. You will be amazed at how much self-confidence you can have just by writing down your intended purpose in life.

You have a choice

You can choose what you want to experience. Doing something important for you and something you love, would give you enough confidence to continue with what you have started. The beauty about being human is that God gave us a choice. You have the will to choose whatever you want to be. You can choose to be confident or not. We are made up of the choices we make in life. If you take a look at yourself you will realize that you are where you are because of the choices you have previously made.

It is their wise to make choices that are self building. I know that some choices are difficult to make but, remember that choices are there to be made and they have to be made. You have a choice and the choice is yours. Bear in mind that the choices we make today have a direct effect on our tomorrow. We are continuously shaping our future by the choices we are making today.

Commitment and trusting

To be able to attain personal mastery for development and growth, you need to trust yourself that you can undergo the process and commit yourself on the process.

When developing self-confidence through personal mastery, we would have to develop some characteristics. We would develop self awareness, which is about our readiness to look at our past, accept it and the same goes for the present.  Aside from this, we also develop self-knowledge which is about understanding our past and our attitude. Not only should we understand them but also be able to comprehend the basis for such attitude or experience. Last, we develop self discipline.  Self-discipline is about how we make sure that our goals and vision are translated in action and achieved.  We need self discipline to make sure that we do not back-out just because of simple and little disappointments and setbacks.

Conclusion

Building self-confidence can’t be done on just a snap. Self-improvement is a never-ending process. There are people who even acknowledge that self-improvement can last even for a life-time.  Sometimes, we can only say that we are fully masterful of our life if we have reached our dreams and goals. Improving our confidence can help with growth and eventually with success. We just need to continue with our dreams and be patient and so always “standout tall and be counted”.

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