Categories
Relationships

Building Strong Relationships and the Importance of Reciprocity

Motivational Quotes

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France.

 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Serenity Prayer

 

Cease to ask what the morrow will bring forth, and set down as gain each day that Fortune grants.” – Horace.

 

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called present.” – Unkonwn

 

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain.

 

“Failure is blindness to the strategic element in events; success is readiness for instant action when the opportune moment arrives.”  – Newell D. Hillis.

Reciprocity is the relation of mutual dependence or action or influence. Humans are well known for being social. Being in a relationship, be it intimate, social or business, requires the reciprocity of the people involved. All human beings excel in relationships where both parties have a balanced, give and take situation.

Relationships where reciprocity is not practiced are usually strained. They are one sided and are problematic. When there is no reciprocity the relationship is on the rocks.

To create reciprocity in a relationship, both parties need to take responsibility for that creation.

Good healthy relationships are those that people have mutual respect for one another and every member, does not feel that they are putting in much more than the other. If you want to live a happy life, it is important to be in a health relationship where reciprocity is practiced.

Some relationships are not beneficial for your personal development. If you are in a relationship that makes you uncomfortable, leave. Make the decision and set yourself free. You must weigh what benefits you are getting from being in certain relationships.

If you have to break them please go ahead. This year I have resolved to evaluate most of my relationships. I have also resolved to work on improving those that I feel need to be improved. Over the years I have slowly broken out of some unhealthy relationships.

I have managed to stay away from them, especially those that were not adding any value to my personal improvement. I liken relationships to the game of chess. If you play chess with players who are less skilled than you are, you do not improve. You are merely improving them whilst you remain stagnated.

Building and Understanding Reciprocity

The principle of reciprocity is also key and crucial to success in all business relationships. The strongest and longest lasting interpersonal relationships are based on the principle of reciprocity, and this extends far into the best relationships between buyers and sellers.

Therefore, it is important that we take time to build and understand this principle. You will agree with me that good solid relationships take time to build. When building them we must understand that every relationship is unique.

A good example of how to build the reciprocity in a relationship is to apply the principle of “do unto others what you would want them do unto you.” Believe me it is the best bet. If you expect people to treat you with respect you must be the first to respect them.

The flip side though is to do good and not expect anything in return. When you are expectant most of the times you will be disappointed because you are not in control of other peoples actions. You can only control your actions.

Here are a few ways that can help you build long lasting relationships:-

  • Be the First to Give Something – Try and be the first to give something. The bible says “it is more blessed to give than to receive.” When you give don’t expect anything in return. Regard it as a good gesture. If you are in business offer an incentive when the sale is complete. Send gifts to your clients as a way of thanking them for supporting your business.
  • Keep the Relationship Going – Good relationships are not easy to come by. We all want to have them, so keep the relationship going. Find ways that will help you grow it. I have noticed that some of the best relationships I have were built from my high school and college days. Yes, along the way I have built new ones but am more comfortable with my old buddies.
  • Offer to Support – Support is a form of giving. People always appreciate being supported. Do we all? I believe in a saying that “you never know who is going to keep you tomorrow.” Giving support is also a sign of generosity. Be generous.

You Need to Give and Take

In every relationship that you build you need to have a give and take attitude. You lose some and you win some. Relationships must be based on respect and mutual understandings. Good solid relationships are built on trust.

Remember that trust is earned. Once breached it takes time to repair. When you are trusted with a responsibility at work for example, ensure you deliver. If you cannot deliver ensure that you communicate. It is better to be honest, that way you earn trust.

Conclusion

To succeed we must build strong healthy and trust worthy, relationships with the people we come into contact with. “Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship” –
Buddha.

Related Articles

When You Have the Will, the Sky is the Limit
The 4 Keys to Success
My Prayer to the World
The Importance of Committing to a Cause
Time to Change Relationships that Need to be Changed

Categories
Personal Development

Time to Change Relationships that Need to be Changed

Motivational Quotes

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France.

 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Serenity Prayer

 

Cease to ask what the morrow will bring forth, and set down as gain each day that Fortune grants.” – Horace.

 

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called present.” – Unkonwn

 

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain.

 

“Failure is blindness to the strategic element in events; success is readiness for instant action when the opportune moment arrives.”  – Newell D. Hillis.

The year 2020 will be remembered as a year that came with a lot of change. It changed the order of doing things. We were all either affected and or infected by the virus that has continued to ravage the world, the COVID-19 pandemic.

This change has been forced upon us. We have had to adapt to the new norm of doing things, such as wearing face masks, regular use of hand sanitisers, and taking extra precautions when going out in public. Social gatherings are restricted. But, like in every other challenge some people have thrived and some have, all but complained.

The lessons taken from the preceding year are very valuable. The experiences of the closing year have taught us that we need to change some relationships going forward. There is need to readjust our lives to conform to the new order of doing things.

Humans are well known for being social in nature. In Africa we love large gatherings, be it social, political, spiritual, or whatever, we just love them. However, I don’t see this coming back in the shortest possible time. Surely for as long as the COVID-19 pandemic is around, life will not be as it was before.

How to Make the Change

A nice way to make the change, as we begin the new year is to identify your relationships and evaluate them. Clarify your relationships on how you would like them to affect the various aspects of your life. Then take the necessary action that you would expect to improve these relationships. You need to make rational goals.

For example, the following relationships have a bearing on my life:-

  • Finances/money
  • Family
  • Work
  • Health
  • Friends
  • Spirituality
  • Website

I will take the relationship with finances/money as an example. Am sure that most of us have a story to tell on this one. If your relationship with finances is not as good as it should be, maybe you are struggling to make earns meet or maybe your current job does not pay as much as you should be getting.

List down your monthly expenses and compare them with your current income. Now, list down your desired expenditure and compare it with your current income. Your desired expenditure is what you would like to be spending on a monthly basis without stressing.

Identify and cut down on unnecessary expenditure. Find more ways to improve your earnings to supplement your current paycheck. If your current job is not flexible enough to allow you to do extra work maybe, it is not the right job for you.

Invest in your skills by getting an education that will help enhance your career and productivity. Read more about how to manage finances/money. Have definite, realistic, and achievable goals that will keep you motivated. Work on your goals every day.

This year I have set a target to create passive income for myself. It seems hard work for now, but I think it will pay off as this will greatly improve my income and free up time for me. I have identified a few sources that I think are worth trying out. I will be sharing during the course of the year on the progress.

You may be asking, what if you do not realise your goals within the time frame? Well, you can adjust the time frame, the most important thing is, you have a target you are working towards. You have something to work with.

One of the reasons why we have a poor relationship with our finances is that we work for money instead of letting money work for us.

Set Resolutions for the Year

One way of keeping track of your progress is to have a set of written down resolutions and a habit of reviewing them on a regular basis. This year resolve to improve on your shortcomings. Resolve to improve on those poor relationships that are greatly affecting your life negatively.

Make resolutions and work towards achieving them. Start with a few that can easily be managed. This will encourage and challenge you to move on to those that will take you much longer and are seemingly difficult to repair or manage.

The best time for me to make resolutions is usually at the beginning of the calendar year. However, there is no rule, you can actually make them at any time of the year and begin to work on them as you please. But you must make and work them anyway.

It is a good idea to have resolutions that are precise and measurable. This way, when you are reviewing them, you will be able to determine how much progress has been made and determine if there is need for adjustment. I normally review mine on a quarterly basis.

Yes, I know that sometimes I lag behind. By reviewing my resolutions on a regular basis ensures that am reminded of them and can easily get to work on improving those that have remained behind. I find it normal that there are always some that I carry forward into the following year.

Be Optimistic

To be optimistic is to be hopeful and confident about the future. Being optimistic is key in ensuring that you achieve the resolutions that you have set. It is an important ingredient to have when we have set targets for ourselves.

Otherwise, there is no point in setting goals and resolutions that you are not optimistic of achieving. That is why it is important to set goals and resolutions that are fairly reasonable and achievable.

That nice feeling you get when you have accomplished a task should be repeated more often. It should be what drives you to even greater heights. You must make it your driving force and leverage on it to push you in your quest for personal development and self-growth.

Being optimistic is a great sign of confidence in what you are doing. It shows that you are in control and are expectant of positive results. Yes, sometimes results may not be as expected. But this should not make you give up.

Conclusion

If you want to succeed you must develop a habit of setting resolutions at the beginning of every year. This helps you set the tone and pace and what you are going to achieve during the year. It gives you a sense and purpose to live life. “For changes to be of any true value, they’ve got to be lasting and consistent” – Tony Robbins.

Related Articles

The Most Important Change Begins With You
Do Not Underestimate the Power of Your Actions
The Reward for Your Success Lies in the Next Challenge
Why it is Important to Measure Your Progress
To Change is to Be Progressive

Categories
Happiness Relationships

Relationships are a source of personal stability

Motivational Quotes

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France.

 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Serenity Prayer

 

Cease to ask what the morrow will bring forth, and set down as gain each day that Fortune grants.” – Horace.

 

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called present.” – Unkonwn

 

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain.

 

“Failure is blindness to the strategic element in events; success is readiness for instant action when the opportune moment arrives.”  – Newell D. Hillis.

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you” ~ Brian Tracy. Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and personal stability; and can also be long lasting despite many trials. There are very few people if any that can claim not to have been or be in a relationship of some sort.

Being in a healthy relationship can be a great source personal stability and can provide security. We derive comfort and security in relationships. Human nature demands that we create relationships. No man is an island. We succeed based mainly on how successful or rather how healthy our relationships are, be it in a business or intimate relationship. I have come to understand that being in an unhealthy relationship has a very negative effect on your personal development journey.

Creating effective and efficient relationships
We all strive for security and personal stability therefore; building an effective and lasting relationship is a necessity. As human beings we feel more comfortable and secure if we know that we come from a loving and caring environment. It gives you a peace of mind when you know that you come from a caring and loving home. It is therefore very important in life that we cultivate and nurture our current relationships. For me the number one killer of relationships; be it personal or business, is luck of satisfactory communication channels. If you are in an intimate relationship make communication number one on the agenda of your to do list.

And effective relationship will have such attributes as; Respect and trust; understanding; taking responsibility for our actions; effective communication and confidence; in intimate relationships patience is also important. When these attributes are correctly applied you are guaranteed of having an effective and efficient relationship. It takes all parties involved in the relationship to make it work.

Even in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works. The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management. Sometimes there is a tendency by management not to listen to complaints and suggestions from the junior members, forgetting that without the junior members there would be no organisation to run. People seek employment that offers personal stability and security.

An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating. An ineffective group or organization can also ask so much on their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group, with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.

Relationships and society
Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. In simple terms society is made up of you and me. I would like to emphasise that at the very core of society is the family. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. We all look forward to a society that offers security and personal stability for all. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships. We are part of one big family. Each and every one of us was created to contribute positively to the growth of every society.

Understanding the other parties’ feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them. This is one way of showing respect and exercising your communication skills.

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent on the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and give us when we need it without asking for it is not a good practice. This often creates a breakdown in communication. It is not wise to assume or rather think on behalf of someone. Relationships play a very important part in molding society.

Respect and trust in relationships
Perhaps one of the key factors in determining the healthiness of a relationship is respect and trust. A relationship without both will definitely fail. I have not come across a successful business partnership without respect and trust among the members. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect. Respect and trust also applies very much in intimate relationships. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.
[adrotate group=”1″]
You see in any relationship it takes both parties’ efforts to make a healthy relationship, this is one way you can achieve personal stability. If you are in an intimate relationship it is very important that you respect and trust your partner. The bible says “do onto others what you would want them do unto you”. We definitely do not take pleasure in being hurt unless you are not normal. You see it takes a long time to build trust yet it is very easy to break it. Most of the broken relationships I have come across are as a result of mistrust and luck of respect.

Your character is a reflection of what you think. Feed your mind with the right stuff and you will think and act rightly. There is no way you will respect others if you do not learn to respect and trust yourself. Change begins with you. You cannot go into a relationship expecting to receive what you cannot give. One must learn to please the other before they can receive. Service is very cardinal in any relationship. You must be the first one to be of service and remember you are doing it without expecting any reward.

Conclusion
Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say ‘No man is an Island’. Being in a healthy relationship can be a source of personal stability and security as it releases your mind to focus on achieving your life’s intended purpose. “standout tall and be counted”.

Related articles
How to create a positive self-image
5 Tips to increase your sales
Taking the giant step of growth
The 7 key principles of success
How to increase your emotional self-awareness

Categories
Mental Health Personal Development

4 Reasons why memory should be improved on

Surely there can never be personal growth without someone having a Memory. Perhaps one of the key physical ingredient to personal development is having a good memory. We use it in our daily lives but often we take it for granted. Imagine life without memory. You would not even remember your own family. Yet not many people realize the important function that memory has in our lives. But this should not be the case. Having a great memory is vital to our survival and personal growth. The ability to remember is what is called memory. This ability can either be improved or neglected.

Most of us are content with an average size memory. The little science I know tells me that the difference between being a smart student and and average one is the ability to quickly recall what has been learned when needed. Thus, it is important that you take steps to better your memory. Here are 4 reasons why you should:

Memory defines who we are
Our daily lives are made up of the things we do and the things we do are stored up in our memory. The memories in your lives define who you are. Try erasing all your memories and you will not have a sense of who you are. It is the experiences that we have in the past that will determine who will be in the future. Without a memory of the past, we will find it hard to go forward in the future. Most of the decisions we make today are based on our past experiences. Without which we will have to start building relationships again and have a sense of who we are like what we did when we were still growing up.

In all our entire lives we heavily depend on our memory. I cannot remember a day I never used my memory maybe you can. I say this to stress the point that our memory defines who we are. You are nothing without memory.

It helps us learn
We are continuously learning things in our everyday lives and we use our memory to learn new things and develop new skills. Without memory I can bet anyone they would not have been schools. It would have been impossible learn. Memory is actually important in school where we need to memorize a lot of information in order to pass our examinations. Memory is the one that we rely on when it comes to examinations and recitations. But memory is not just for memorizing. Knowledge is also acquired with the use of memory. We learn to do things because of our brain’s work.

As I said before learning is a continuous process that cannot be achieved without the aid of memory. The sharper your memory the quicker you will learn new things. It is therefore, very important that you improve on your memory for this purpose. Un improved memory is a get way to doing things better and faster.

It helps us with our jobs
Although we will not be answering examination questions when we are on the job, we need memory to help keep up with our schedules and the meetings that we have had with people. There are professionals who rely a lot on excellent memory. You need it as a secretary when you have to be on top of your boss’ schedules. You need it when you are a journalist especially in remembering statements that your interviewees have made. You even need it as the owner of the company. You need to remember all the products that you are manufacturing, the capital that you used and the income that you get for the second quarter of the year etc.

You need it especially of you are like me who deals with figures every day. I always have to answer questions from the top of my head in meetings. I cannot imagine what it would be like if I lost my memory today. I would definitely find it very difficult to work. Even as I write this blog I am heavily relying on my memory.

It helps build relationships
People who easily remember the names of people are seen as much warmer and more intelligent than those who can’t remember names even on the same night. This is why personal relations employees are trained to remember names on an instant as this shows respect and appreciation for others. When people remember our names, we feel a sense of importance and we in turn forward those feelings of good will to that person.

Having an excellent memory also helps people remember birthdays. This is especially true with men who usually forget dates of anniversaries and birthdays especially for their spouses. People who remember special dates come across as more thoughtful and more caring as opposed to those who forget all the time. Even if remembering birthdays are not really a sign of love or a measure of love, people still see it that way.

Memory is actually a reflection of our mental processes. Having excellent memory usually means that you have great brain power. Thus, when you are making an effort to better your memory, you are also improving the way you think. And with that, you don’t really need so many reasons.

Conclusion
We must always keep our memory in excellent condition as it forms an integral part of our personal development. No single person I know can achieve their personal goals without having an excellent memory. Our memory defines what we are, what decisions to make and who we want to associate with. Always remember to “standout tall and be counted” and commit what you have read today to memory.

Related Articles
7 steps to boost your brain power
Change your mind and enjoy your success
You are a leader
The building blocks of good character

Recommended sites
counsellors are avaialble in Jesmond, Newcastle. Click here to follow.