Categories
Personal Development

Your Attitude and Self Application Determines Your Success

Motivational Quotes

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France.

 

 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Serenity Prayer

 

Cease to ask what the morrow will bring forth, and set down as gain each day that Fortune grants.” – Horace.

 

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called present.” – Unknown

 

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain.

 

“Failure is blindness to the strategic element in events; success is readiness for instant action when the opportune moment arrives.”  – Newell D. Hillis.

 

We all want to be successful. Don’t we? If you are an ambitious person, am confident that you are determined to achieve your success; that you are working round the clock to achieving your success. But being successful is not an easy fit. Because if it was, everyone one of us would have achieve our success.

The world would have been a totally different place than it is today. It would have been teeming with successful people. I can only imagine what it would have been like.

There are so many theories and formulas on how to become successful. Well,  I have not found an answer that is a one size fits all. However, reading and researching on the subject has helped me realise that there is no shot cut and substitute for hard work and self application.

Yes, you may have the desire; and that is very important; you may have the best tools at your disposal; but without the correct mental attitude and without taking action. Believe me you will not achieve your success. Why? because you will not have taken action. It is action which is very important.

To achieve your success, you need to have the right mental attitude; you need to apply yourself, because along the way you will be met with temporal setbacks. Things will not always go according to your expectations or plans. You will fall down and your attitude towards these temporal failures will largely determine how well you will achieve your success.

Your tenacity and willingness to learn from your mistakes; to know when to make adjustments; to take corrective measures where necessary will surely give you an advantage as you pursue your success. You will learn that to achieve your success you will need be a good leader of yourself. One who knows when to make drastic changes.

If you don’t apply your self you are certainly headed for failure. Sometimes, when we are faced with challenges, we always look for the easy way out. There are times I have felt like am dreaming and hope that when I wakeup, boom the problems would have disappeared.

But guess what, if you do not attend to the challenges you encounter they are surely doing more damage and will surface back to haunt you. I know for sure, that some challenges we face can be difficult to handle, but that does not mean you should turn a blind eye to them. Wakeup from your slumber and face them head on.

Keep Your Faith and Hopes Alive

The bible says “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” When feeling frustrated because of your inability to achieve your goals, there is no need to lose faith and hope. Never lose your faith and hope when faced with frustrations.

Frustrations are a part of life. They are part of the learning process. It is very important to continue persisting and keep your faith and hopes alive. Focus on the bigger picture. Develop a mental attitude that will motivate you to achieve your goals.

The frustrations and challenges we go through are merely a way of building us up. They help prepare us to handle even bigger responsibilities. You should know that being successful comes with  responsibilities. The more successful you are, the more responsibilities you carry on your shoulders.

Keep in mind the joy, feeling and benefits that accrue with accomplishing your success. I know that it is not easy to keep focused when things are not going your way. But this is the time when we should exercise our faith and hope in God Almighty. The bible encourages us to put our plans in Gods hands. Believe me, he is faithful to those who are faithful to him.

One of the biggest mistakes people make is having faith without works. Yes it is good to have faith, but the bible says that “faith without works is dead.” Faith alone cannot save you. You need to take action on your faith to produce results. To achieve your success you need to take action on your faith.

How then do you develop this faith? Well, the bible says “faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God.” The preceding statement is very loud and clear. You cannot develop faith without hearing about it.

Now, with so many tools at our disposal we have no excuse to not have heard about the word of God. The bible is a source of inspiration for me. I encourage you to develop a habit of spending time reading and practising the word of God.

Do Not be Afraid of Your Failures

“Failure is blindness to the strategic element in events; success is readiness for instant action when the opportune moment arrives” so says Newell D. Hillis. “Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go” – William Feather.

If you want to be successful you should not be afraid of failing. Failure is synonymous with success. Those who have succeeded have failed before. The more you fail the greater the chance of success. Well you may not agree with all these statements.

But the truth of the matter is you will never succeed without failure. So you might as well get used to the fact that being afraid will only prolong or indeed deter your from your success. Get over with being afraid of the unknown.

It is time for you to put your plans to action; to begin to realise those dreams. The more you act on your plans the more fearless you become. Sometimes I feel fear is just a state of mind or rather laziness. Yes, laziness. I believe that it is better to die trying than not to try at all. “I failed my way to success” –
Thomas Edison.

Conclusion

How far you go in life is largely determined by how far you are willing to go. In other words you determine the level of your success by the actions you take. I found this article on how to increase your success chances very helpful check it out. Unit next time remember that “your action and and self application determines your success.”

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How to Increase Your Emotional Self Awareness

Categories
Mental Health Motivational Personal Development Self Growth

How to Increase Your Emotional Self-Awareness

Motivational Quotes

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France.

 

 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Serenity Prayer

 

Cease to ask what the morrow will bring forth, and set down as gain each day that Fortune grants.” – Horace.

 

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called present.” – Unknown

 

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain.

 

“Failure is blindness to the strategic element in events; success is readiness for instant action when the opportune moment arrives.”  – Newell D. Hillis.

 

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wander and stand and rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed” ~ Albert Einstein.

Emotional self-awareness is the building block of all competencies as mentioned in Daniel Goleman’s model of intelligence, published in 1995.

Every day, that you wake up you need to recognise what you are feeling in order to move to the next competence level. Self-awareness has three skills, emotional self-awareness; accurate self-awareness, and self-confidence.

It is very interesting to note that most of us are not very much aware of our emotions.

When we are not aware of our feelings and emotions, and the causes of them, leading a happy and productive life is difficult if not almost impossible.

Yes, there may be signs of success such as prestige, money, or career progression and success. But to be truly happy, we must be able to determine what really makes us feel good and what makes us feel bad.

We cannot be truly happy and productive until we are aware of our feelings and what causes them. The knowledge of our emotional self-awareness is the driving force for our actions.

When you develop your level of emotional self-awareness, you are able to specifically decipher how you are feeling at any given moment.

This will help you resolve and know the basis and source of your current feelings. You will also know how your body is reacting.

I know that becoming aware of your emotions takes practice. If you practice, the ability to note what you are feeling will increase with time.

I have outlined a few ways in which you can increase your emotional self-awareness.

Checking Yourself

The first thing to increasing your emotional self-awareness is to learn how to check yourself. To begin checking your emotions you will need to make time for doing so.

You need to also know the different kinds of emotions or feelings. You also need to be aware that most if not all emotions are a result of external stimuli.

Our emotions are our body’s reaction to certain conditions that we have been exposed to.

I personally do an emotional check in the morning and late in the evening before going to bed. This is besides the monitoring as and when they occur.

I have developed a skill to quickly monitor my body’s emotions at a particular time in a given situation. But when you first start I suggest you schedule it 3 times a day, that is morning, afternoon and evening.

It may seem cumbersome in the initial stages but as time goes on you will realise that you will be able to call the skill anytime you feel a strong or distressing or strange feeling.

I believe that happiness can only be achieved by identifying those feelings that make us feel happy and replacing sad feelings with happy ones.

Here is how you can check yourself. Sit down quietly, if possible close your eyes, ask yourself the following questions and please ensure that you answer them honestly.

Remember there is no right or wrong answer you are not competing with anyone.

  • How am I feeling?
  • What am I feeling?
  • Why am I feeling like this?
  • How long have I been feeling like this?
  • Where is the feeling manifesting itself in the body?

Pay attention to your body language. Some stressing or strong emotions may cause symptoms such as headaches, stomach-ache’s and just general body aches.

Negative emotions are a health hazard. Learning to check yourself is the key to actually knowing how to handle your emotions. Checking yourself will also give you an accurate idea of how to handle and control your emotions.

Sometimes, especially when we are angry we tend to react on impulse. If you learn how to handle your anger you will never find yourself in a regrettable situation.

Write Down Your Feelings

Once you are aware of your emotions you then need to write them down. I believe there is power in writing. After you have listed them down review them.

Investigate what triggered them. As you get better at knowing your feeling you can label them whatever you want. Know also that not all feelings are negative.

I know for sure that most of us will not pay attention to positive feelings but it is also important to have a clear understanding of what the source for these emotions is. This knowledge will come in handy when you want to start isolating and handling your emotions correctly.

To help with identifying the triggers of your emotions ask yourself the following questions and be sure to be very sincere with your answers.

Remember you are not competing with anyone and that your reaction will strongly depend upon the answers to the following questions.

  • When did the feeling start?
  • What was I doing or rather what was happening when it started?
  • Has the strength of the emotion changed if so how has it changed?
  • How often has this happened

The above questions are best answered if you have a tendency to plan your daily activities. I would encourage you to develop among other habits of planning your daily activities.

This puts you in total control of your time management and also helps increase your emotional self-awareness. If you are in the habit of daily activity planning you may not even realise that you have your emotional self-awareness under control.

The whole idea of writing down your emotions is to get to the root cause of the feelings. Most of the time we tend to cure the symptoms rather than cure the root cause.

You see if you know why you are feeling a certain way it is then possible to try and resolve the cause rather than pretend it did not happen.

Finding out the root cause of the negative feeling does not necessarily mean you are accepting it; no you are merely trying to find a better solution.

This brings us to the importance of noting down both positive and negative emotions. If the cause is resolvable you would have also resolved the bad or negative feeling.

Learn to detect your emotion as they happen. Most of the time, our emotions are communicating something to us. You need to take extra caution and pay attention to your emotion as they occur.

This though does not come overnight but with gradual practice and learning to live consciously, you will be in touch with your emotions and know yourself a lot better.

Remember that we sometimes feel more than one emotion at a time but each one of them presents information that we can learn more about ourselves.

Personal development is achieved when we learn more about ourselves and improve on our weaknesses.

Preparing Your Emotions

As you continue to build on your emotional self-awareness in the present you will learn to identify the triggers or situations and circumstances that lead to certain feelings.

Remember it is the skill of knowing what the cause is that will reveal how to handle or avert similar situations that trigger negative emotions. I know for sure that most of us would like to have only positive emotions.

Unfortunately, this is not the case in life. Life is full of challenges that need to be overcome. It is these challenges that trigger different emotions and reactions that each and every one of us needs to be prepared for.

Learning to prepare your emotions for an event can help boost your self-confidence among other benefits of having to control yourself better.

If we know how to handle our emotions we certainly have a better chance of handling failure very well and moving forward. The emotion of frustration is the one driving force to failure.

If you are doing a project that you seem not to be getting the desired results at the first few attempts, you may begin to feel frustrated.

It the way you handle this emotion of frustration that will determine your way forward. If handled negatively you are doomed to fail but if handled positively success is in the air for you.

There are many instances that require us to prepare our emotions for the future. A typical example is when you are going to see your boss say over a disciplinary case or in a meeting where you are called to make a presentation.

You will need to have your emotions under control in order to achieve the desired results especially if you are in the field of marketing.

The benefits of knowing and preparing your emotions for the future cannot be over emphasised.

You need to learn the skill of preparing your emotional self-awareness for greater personal development.

Self-growth requires that you have greater control of yourself and emotional self-awareness is part of the greater picture.

Conclusion

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance” ~ Brian Tracy.

Increasing our emotional self-awareness helps us learn and know more about ourselves.

Before I close, let me emphasise the importance to note that we can feel different emotions at the same time and even feel as if some of them are conflicting.

But, always remember that every emotion you feel is for a reason. Success requires that you know and understand yourself very well, this starts with knowing your emotions above all “standout tall and be counted”. Revised on 03/03/2021.

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The 9 must have life skills part 2

Categories
Personal Development Self Growth

Improve Your Self Esteem Part 2

Motivational Quotes

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France.

 

 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Serenity Prayer

 

Cease to ask what the morrow will bring forth, and set down as gain each day that Fortune grants.” – Horace.

 

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called present.” – Unknown

 

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain.

 

“Failure is blindness to the strategic element in events; success is readiness for instant action when the opportune moment arrives.”  – Newell D. Hillis.

 

This is the final part of a two-part series. In the first part, I mentioned the importance of having goals; principles, and success experiences and how these impact your self-esteem.

I will mention the remaining 3 that are compared with others; recognition and rewards and how these affect your self-esteem.

Comparison With Others

The fourth element of self-esteem is comparison with others. Leon’s study concluded that in determining how well we are doing, we do not compare ourselves with abstract principles and standards, but, rather, we compare ourselves with people we know.

To feel like a winner, you must know for sure that you are doing as well as or better than someone else.

The more you know about how well the others in your field are doing, and the more favorably you compare with them. The more you will feel like a winner, and the higher your self-esteem will be.

Successful people continually compare themselves with other successful people. In order to succeed, you must have a mentor.

Successful people think about their mentors and read about them and study their performances, and then they work towards improving their own failures.

The best competition you can have is yourself. Begin to compete with your previously achieved goals and improve on them. I believe that success is not a destination but a long journey.

Recognition

“When we come into a recognition of the Unity of all things and that the source of all power is within, we tap the source of inspiration” ~ Charles Haanel.

The next element for self-esteem is recognition of the accomplishments by people whom you respect.

To feel really great about yourself, you need the recognition of people you look up to and admire people, such as your boss, your coworkers, your spouse, and people in your social circle.

Whenever you are recognized and praised for any accomplishment by someone whose opinion you hold in high regard. Your self-esteem goes up, along with your eagerness and enthusiasm to do even better on the job.

We all need a pat on the back for the work well done. I am sure you have been to places where even when you have done your very best no one comes to congratulate or encourage you. It feels like you are just wasting your time and energy.

Recognition is a very nice feeling. Most of what we do if not everything, we all want to be recognized for it. At least I am talking about myself.

Rewards

Don’t we all want to be rewarded for our efforts? The final element of self-esteem involves rewards that are consistent with your accomplishments.

You may work in a field where you receive financial bonuses, status symbols—larger offices, bigger cars—or even plaques and trophies for superior achievement.

All of those symbols can have an incredible impact on raising your self-esteem and causing you to feel terrific about yourself. Expecting to be rewarded for your efforts comes naturally.

If, however, your existing situation does not offer the tangible or intangible rewards that are necessary for you to build and maintain your self-esteem. You must create rewards for yourself.

One of the smartest things you can do is to design a system for giving yourself rewards for both small and large accomplishments as you move progressively toward your goals.

Whether or not your current environment provides the six elements of self-esteem improvement that is goals, principles, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards. You need to establish your own structure and take full responsibility for building and improving yourself up on a regular basis.

When you have that foundation, you will experience a form of mental fitness and unshakable optimism that will sustain you through failure and propel you to success.

Conclusion

Improving your self-esteem should be like physical exercise. To achieve and enjoy your life’s purpose you need to cultivate high self-esteem.

Generally, people with high self-esteem are more likable and live happier lives than those with low self-esteem.

Like I always say that personal development of self-growth does not come overnight so is high self-esteem.

Keep working on your self-esteem. You will never say I have arrived at the destination of high self-esteem it is a continuous journey.

Bye for now always remember to “standout tall and be counted.” Revised on 23/06/2021.

Categories
Personal Development Self Growth

Improve your self esteem part 1

Your self-esteem is probably the most important part of your personality. “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope or confidence” ~ Helen Keller. It is the energy source or the reactor core of your personality, and how much self-esteem you have determines your levels of vitality, enthusiasm and personal magnetism. I have noticed that people with a high self-esteem are more positive, more likable and more effective in every part of their lives.

Everything that you do or say or think affects your self-esteem. It is important therefore, that you guard your self esteem jealously by having the right frame of mind on a continuous basis. Probably the best definition of self-esteem is “the level to which you respect and value yourself as an important, worthwhile person”. How much value to do you put on yourself? The value will usually be determined by the kind of life you lead. It is your level of mental fitness.

 To be at your best and feel terrific about yourself, you should be in a perpetual state of self-esteem building and maintenance. Just as you take responsibility for your level of physical fitness, you need to take complete responsibility for the content and quality of your mind.

I have developed a simple formula that contains all the critical elements of self-esteem building, and you can use it on a regular basis to ensure maximum performance. This formula is comprised of six basic elements. They are: goals, principles, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards.

Goals

“Goals allow you to control the direction of change in your favor”. How much you like and respect yourself is directly affected by your goals. The very act of setting big, challenging goals for yourself and making written plans of action to achieve them actually raises your self-esteem, which causes you to feel much better about yourself. It is important to set goals for your life. Imagine how nice it would be like to play a video of your life and you being the main character achieving your goals one at a time.

Self-esteem is a condition you experience when you are moving step-by-step toward the accomplishment of something that is important to you. For that reason, it’s really important to have clear goals for each part of your life and to continually work toward achieving those goals. Each progressive step causes your self-esteem to go up and makes you feel even more positive and effective in everything else you do.

Principles

The second element in self-esteem building is having clear principle and values to which you are committed. I think that we all or rather a normal thinking person has their own set principles. These I believe are the driving force of each and every one of us. The difference is the level of commitment. Men and women with high self-esteem are very clear about what they believe in. The higher your values and ideals are, and the more committed you are to living your life consistent with those values and ideals, the more you will like and respect yourself, and the higher your self-esteem will be.

Lasting self-esteem comes only when your goals and your values are congruent-that is, when they fit into each other like a hand into a glove. Much of the stress that people experience comes from believing one thing and trying to do another. But when your goals and values are in harmony with each other, you feel a wonderful surge of energy and well-being, and that’s when you start to make real progress.

Success experiences

“My definition of success is to live your life in a way that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain – and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel a lot more pleasure than they do pain” ~ Tony Robins. The third element in self-esteem improvement involves having success experiences. Once you have set your goals and principles, it is important that you make them measurable so that you can keep score of your small and large successes along the way. The very act of setting up a goal, breaking it down into smaller parts, and then completing those parts makes you feel like a winner and causes your self-esteem to go up. But remember that you can’t hit a target you can’t see. You can’t feel like a winner unless you clearly lay out the standards by which you are going to measure your success and then achieve those standards.

Let’s say that you set a goal to sell a certain amount or earn a certain amount of income in a given year. If you break that down into monthly and weekly goals, and then you achieve the first of those goals, you will feel great about yourself. Each time you reach another milestone, your self-esteem and ability to perform will increase, and you will feel encouraged and enthusiastic about the next challenge. The key is to keep encouraging yourself with tangible results. The more tangible results you can see the more self esteem you buildup.

Conclusion

This is a two part article and I thought to end here. In the final article am talking about the remaining elements that is comparison with others; recognition and rewards. There is more you could do to improve your self esteem. Having a high self esteem is the gateway to a better life and living. It does not matter what you are or what you have when you put on a high self esteem you can move mountains. Until next time “standout tall and be counted”.

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